It's a love/hate relationship

Warning: To all men who are uncomfortable with the thought of or have never been around a lactating woman before, don't read this post. If you don't even know what lactating is, then definitely don't proceed! :) However, I'm not really sure if any male even reads this besides my dad, so Dad, don't be embarrassed!

Okay, before I go on anymore, I want to clarify that maybe hate is not an accurate description or word choice. More like dislike or inconvenience, but how would It's a love/dislike relationship sound for a title?

Sitting in the chair many times during the day, I have a chance to think about and ponder many things (as well as sleep or just totally zone out or shoo Lawton away and encourage him to go play alone which he has a very hard time doing). Anyways, I realized how much I love and hate (dislike) nursing all at the same time. I do have to make very clear from the beginning that I feel very blessed first of all to have two healthy, normal children for whom I thank God for every night when I see their cherub faces asleep in their beds. I am also very thankful that nursing has come very easy for me and my kiddos from day one. Carolina was birthed, rooting and nursing within the first fifteen minutes of life. How blessed and how wonderful.


I love that I am the only one who can truly meet her needs and feed her.


I hate (dislike) that I am the only one who can truly meet her needs and feed her. Lawton refused to take a bottle until he learned to take a sippy cup with a straw when he was 11 months old. I promised PROMISED myself that this would not happen with Carolina, but alas, she is not wanting the old bottle here lately (since like eight weeks old.) Sigh.


I love that she can be screaming (but she really doesn't do this much) because she is hungry and as soon as her sweet little lips clamp down, all is happy in her world.


I love when her little tummy is full and so sleepy, and she finally tuckers out, that last little sip of milk starts running down her chubby cheek because she is just too tired to swallow that last bit. I have forever taken a picture of that image in my mind.


I love that her "food" is easily transportable and takes no refrigeration or special equipment.
I think I would hate dealing with bottles all the time. I'm too lazy in that regard.


I hate (dislike) that she is becoming a "nursing snob" as my friend Anna put it because she doesn't like to nurse just anywhere anymore. She honestly prefers something soft - more accurately her boppy with a pink velour(?) cover and does not like for her feet/legs to be touching anything. Prissy Britches.


I love though that she really is a wonderful baby and can tolerate being schlepped around and will wait very patiently until we can get home (or somewhere comfy and up to her "standards") to eat.

I hate that I look and feel like Bessie the cow.

I love that God made women's incredible bodies to provide what our children need. My body won't look/feel like this forever . . . right?!??

I love the bond that I have with my baby and knowing that she is getting just what she needs.

I hate (dislike) that all women who wish to experience breastfeeding are not always able to do so for whatever reason.

I hate (dislike)that she is still waking up at least once a night and guess whose turn it always is?


I love the fact that I get to wake up and take care of my baby and have special bonding time, uninterrupted by a flying Buzz Lightyear , to just admire her sweet little features (when I don't fall asleep).

I hate (dislike) or maybe I love (I'm not sure which) that Lawton thinks that he, too, can "give milk" to his "puppy", all stuffed animals, baby dolls at Noni's house, and even baby Moses in his Busy Bible book. It makes me smile every time. And I just let him think he can. I really don't want to go there yet. This too shall pass.

**Update - I can't believe I forgot this one! I hate (dislike) having to wear a bra 24/7. Ugh. All you nursing mothers understand this one.